www.blog.therefugeonline.org

this past sunday as we wrapped up our summer series on community, we wrote some identity poems related to the refuge & also ourselves. we thought we’d share the refuge ones so everyone could listen in on our heart. the first one was a community effort—each table contributed particular lines to the poem. the second one was written by sage and powerfully read during the sharing. both reflect the heart and ever-evolving identity of the refuge.

*****

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we wonder where this journey is taking us

we hear hopefulness from people we love & a fruitful silence

we see healing & chaos

we want true community, acceptance, humor, fun, realness & to make a difference

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we pretend that we’re cool, that nothing’s wrong

we feel known, uncomfortable, deeply connected, exposed, accepted, appreciated, safe & loved

we touch many lives & pressure points

we worry in our attempt to include the marginalized of society that we’ll turn our hearts back on all others

we cry with each other as we share our stories

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we understand that we don’t have all the answers

we say that relationships are intentional

we dream a lot, that we’d be a truly loving community, real people and love Jesus

we try to live our dreams

we hope for twinkle twinkle little star (stella’s addition), community & connection, honesty, equality, to be embracing, an extension of God’s love, to always be stretching outward, transparent to the world, to foster a deep sense of awareness of each person’s value.

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we are the refuge.

–written by the refuge community 8.11.08

*****

we are loving & chaotic

we wonder if we can really love one another

we hear God’s voice in and among us

we see God’s hand at work in us

we want a place to rest from our wandering

we are loving & chaotic

we pretend to be understanding & welcoming

we feel wrapped in community

we touch hands as brothers & sisters in Christ

we worry that we can’t do this

we cry when we fall short

we are loving & chaotic

we understand that God’s love is real

we say that Jesus makes everything possible

we dream they kingdom come, thy will be done

we try to make that happen for everyone

we hope to bring God’s kingdom for all

we are loving & chaotic

we are the refuge

- sage harmos, 8.11.08

On the campus of my small non-denominational Christian college were two paths. They formed a circle between the residential and academic sides of campus. Attending the college were about 1,000 students, mostly out-of-state kids excited to ski for Jesus. There was a custom that was quickly learned by each student: correct path etiquette. Although there were 2 paths one was bigger and well-traveled while the other one stunk like goose poop. If you wanted to see and be seen, you took the bigger path. If you wanted to hide - you breathed in fumes of digested goose food.

While on the main path when encountering another student you looked up to catch the eye of the oncoming student and you smiled a nice, healthy smile (teeth please) and you said, “Hi, how are you?”. All of this happened without stopping motion and the encounter was therefore brief.

2 Things You Did Not Want To Do:

1. Don’t look up too soon - timing was important because if you caught the student’s eyes too early then you would be stuck looking up and down and smiling until the appropriate time to talk and this was…awkward.

2. Do not forget to say your line, “Hi. How are you?” Always. One line. Easy to memorize but like all acting challenges difficult to say with truth.

When I first had this path encounter I thought it was great. It made everyone seem so friendly. It made everyone connect. But, slowly my anticipation of these encounters wore thin. I began to see that although a very important question was asked no one stuck around to get an answer. Everyone now seemed a fraud. No one really wanted to be my friend, no matter how many times we passed each other on the path, nothing was really happening. No connecting.

Fast forward to my first year out of college. I’m jaded and cynical and have a really bad attitude about Christian education and my first job post-graduation was as a receptionist. A church receptionist. For a really big church. With lots of money and lots of people. And my attitude worsened. The same thing was happening here , and with adults who should have known better! I couldn’t believe that adults with degrees in people and God were asking me “how are you?” and walking away before I answered. I began to try and answer honesty, but with efficiency, sharing things like, “I’m tired” or “I have to go to the bathroom” and I also began to try and just say, “Hi” and it was difficult. I didn’t realize how linked the greeting and the question were.

They are still linked. People still ask without the time or desire to hear a real answer. And often…people don’t even answer honestly…even if there is time…

I’m still tired of this path experience. For too long I’ve wanted to be known and so have chosen to walk the big path only to be smiled at without truth and listened to without ears. For too long I’ve wanted to hide and have breathed in lies about my ability to walk with others in the sunshine and clean air.

There is no easy solution. No “steps” to take but the step…a step…I’m talking about an actual physical step. A step forward to stand next to another person. The step that takes you out of the house toward the car toward your community of friends and faith. The step that takes you out of your seat next to your close friend and across the room towards the face you’ve never seen before (or have seen a million times). The step that brings you to the front of the room where you can tell your part of our story that will connect us all more deeply.

Community. I’m discovering that this word is so much more than a walk around a path with pre-scripted lines and eye contact. I think it’s about improvising. A quick nervous hug here, an intimate soul baring conversation there, In a coffee shop, a bathroom, after a movie night, in a car singing “Old MacDonald had a………” and sticking around to hear just what that old farmer was keeping around his barn. Hopefully it’s not goose poop.

as you all know by now, i have a lot of issues with “church.” i love love love people gathered together in all kinds of ways to learn and practice loving God, our neighbors, ourselves. it’s the programs, the inauthenticity, the power b.s., the unnaturalness of it all that i can do without. i believe wholeheartedly, in every fabric of my being, that without community and deep connection with other people (whatever that may look like) we will never be able to live out the ways of Jesus and experience the fullness of relationship with God. i am fairly convinced typical church systems that feed inspiration addiction provide a false sense of spiritual maturity where learning “about” certain things becomes enough and we are never forced to actually be in meaningful intimate connection with the people we sit next to week after week. lives need to be rubbed up against other lives. that’s where the real action happens and we learn what it means to really love & be loved.

at the refuge, we are not trying to be anti-institutional for the sake of being anti-institutional. it’s just that we are dreamers. we dream that the body of Christ would look much more like a family than a business or a production. after spending last weekend at the 3rd annual refuge camping trip at jackson lake i walked away with this thought: church should probably be a lot more like camping! really, it has all of the elements that i love & value about “church” the way i dreamed it could be:

• all the cover-ups are stripped away - camping is a great equalizer. a tent’s a tent. no one cares about what you wear or what you look like. every person trying to pull themselves up on a tube in the middle of the lake looks awkward, no matter how much money they make or what job they have. in a good way, camping (especially when there’s water because that means bathing suits!) exposes us in a safe container because everyone else is equally exposed, too.

• everyone shares - that is one of my favorite things, when we are camping there’s an incredible sharing of “stuff” with each other. we had 14 sites all to ourselves and there was zigzagging all over the place… ”need an extra tent? want some eggs? i’ve got some bacon! come over to our place and we’ll cook up the food.” needs get met. openhandedness abounds.

• conversations flow - fire, time and space creates a container for relaxed & meaningful conversation. no one’s rushed, hurried, has an agenda, or always has the floor.

• playing & more playing - little kids playing with big kids, big kids making new friends, games around the picnic table, balls getting tossed, splashing in the water, silly songs around the campfire, people trying things they don’t normally try, laughter everywhere. that’s worship.

• the little ones are a part - kids & grownups together is really important to me. we’re supposed to know each other’s kids & look after them & help them & love them instead of keeping them safely put away while we “do our thing”. when we’re camping, we’re all together, eyes and hearts and hands all over the place making sure everyone’s known & taken care of.

• relaxed instead of rushed - hurriedness is what messes with community. rushing in, rushing out, going from one thing to the next and never being able to be present in the moment. the stress of time and responsibilities and pressures really rob us of peace & connection. when we’re camping, we’re chill. we’re present. we’re unwound instead of wound up. we’re glad to be here instead of thinking where else we have to go next.

i could go on and on about all the cool parallels and i am sure i missed some other big ones, but you get the point. yeah, to me, camping really is “church” at its finest.
here’s a photo collage from our time together:

this month at the refuge has been focused on the mystery and beauty of the trinity. God, three in one. this past sunday we had an amazing time focused on Jesus. when Jesus began his public ministry, it was blaringly clear how misunderstood he was. in john 8, they asked “so just who are you anyway?” this is a great question that all of us probably ask in the quiet of our hearts. just who are you, Jesus? so instead of talking about him, we set up 6 reflective stations to allow everyone time and space to connect with him on their own. we are all in different places on the spiritual journey and there are aspects of Jesus’ character and heart that sometimes we need a little bit more than other. we provided an opportunity for people to focus in on Jesus as light, water, advocate, friend, savior, son. each station had something to experience, to think about, to respond to in writing and an action to do. there’s no way to re-create the moment, but here are some thumbnails and also the materials we used at each station if you weren’t there and want to spend some time reflecting on your own.

Jesus as friend, playmate PDF

Jesus as light PDF

Jesus as obedient son PDF

Jesus as our savior, healer, good shepherd, etc. PDF

Jesus as our advocate PDF

Jesus as living water PDF

More photos of our evening are posted here.

this month at the refuge we are focusing on the mystery & beauty of the trinity. God: three. one. here’s a prayer to meditate on this week:

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
Blessed Trinity, hear us
Adorable Unity, graciously hear us.

God the Father of Heaven,
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
God the Holy Ghost,
Holy Trinity, One God, Have mercy on us.

Father from Whom are all things,
Son through Whom are all things,
Holy Ghost in Whom are all things,
Holy and undivided Trinity, Have mercy on us.

Father everlasting,
Only-begotten Son of the Father,
Spirit Who proceeds from the Father and the Son,
Co-eternal Majesty of Three Divine Persons, Have mercy on us.

Father, the Creator,
Son, the Redeemer

Holy Ghost, the Comforter,
Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts, Have mercy on us.

Who is, Who was, and Who is to come,
God Most High, Who inhabits eternity,
To Whom alone are due all honor and glory,
Who alone does great wonders,
Power infinite,
Wisdom incomprehensible,
Love unspeakable, Have mercy on us.

Delliver us, O Holy Trinity

From all evil,
From all sin,
From all pride,
From all love of riches,
From all uncleanness,
From all sloth,
From all inordinate affection,
From all envy and malice,
From all anger and impatience,
From every thought, word, and deed contrary to Your holy law,
From Your everlasting malediction,
Through Your plenteous loving kindness,
Through the exceeding treasure of Your goodness and love,
Through the depths of Your wisdom and knowledge,
Through all Your unspeakable perfections, deliver us O Holy Trinity

We sinners, Beseech You, hear us.
That we may ever serve You alone,
That we may worship You in spirit and in truth,
That we may love You with all our heart, with all our soul, & with all our strength,
That, for Your sake, we may love our neighbor as ourselves,
That we may faithfully keep Your holy commandments,
That we may never defile our bodies and souls with sin,
That we may go from grace to grace, and virtue to virtue,
That we may finally enjoy the sight of You in glory,
That You would vouchsafe to hear us,

O Blessed Trinity,
We beseech You, deliver us. save us. have mercy on us.

Blessed are You O Lord, in the firmament of heaven
And worthy to be praised, and glorious, and highly exalted forever!

–modified from www.theworkofgod.org