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Archive for the ‘theology’


“just who are you anyway?”

just who are you anyway?this month at the refuge has been focused on the mystery and beauty of the trinity. God, three in one. this past sunday we had an amazing time focused on Jesus. when Jesus began his public ministry, it was blaringly clear how misunderstood he was. in john 8, they asked “so just who are you anyway?” this is a great question that all of us probably ask in the quiet of our hearts. just who are you, Jesus? so instead of talking about him, we set up 6 reflective stations to allow everyone time and space to connect with him on their own. we are all in different places on the spiritual journey and there are aspects of Jesus’ character and heart that sometimes we need a little bit more than other. we provided an opportunity for people to focus in on Jesus as light, water, advocate, friend, savior, son. each station had something to experience, to think about, to respond to in writing and an action to do. there’s no way to re-create the moment, but here are some thumbnails and also the materials we used at each station if you weren’t there and want to spend some time reflecting on your own.

Jesus as friend and playmate Jesus as friend, playmate PDF

Jesus as light Jesus as light PDF

Jesus as obedient son Jesus as obedient son PDF

Jesus as our savior, etc. Jesus as our savior, healer, good shepherd, etc. PDF

Jesus as our advocate Jesus as our advocate PDF

Jesus as living water Jesus as living water PDF

More photos of our evening are posted here.

KATHY: three in one–the beautiful mystery

trinity heads

right now at the refuge we’re focusing in on the trinity—God the father, the son, the holy spirit—their wild and crazy relationship with each other and what it means for us individually, corporately. it’s always interesting to me how in our spiritual journey, what we’ve been taught by certain pastors & leaders greatly impacts our theology. we take certain things at face value, assume what they are saying about it is 100% accurate, and often unintentionally automatically integrate their thinking into the way we approach our faith. when it comes to the trinity, i was always taught God the Father was the harsh and powerful boss & God the Son was his subordinate who was the go-between for us, the middle man that would make sure the boss didn’t fire us today. the Holy Spirit was his assistant now and then, kind of like the trainer who was making sure we knew what we needed to know to do the job. i don’t mean to be mocking what i had learned (well, maybe just a little) but thinking about this reminds me just how much man tries to squeeze God down into a manageable, explainable box. some of the teaching i received over the year made my relationship with God quite linear. known. predictable. workable. i am not saying that some of the things i learned earlier in my christian walk were bad, but i find God opening up my mind and heart to a bigger story, a more mysterious story, a radically more expansive view of the bigness and beauty of God’s character. It all feels a lot more wild, and sometimes a little more scary. i admit, I sometimes miss the A-B-C’s, 1-2-3’s of a relationship with God.

at the same time, I wouldn’t trade the last few years of my spiritual journey for anything because i am learning to rest in an important beautiful reality: i don’t know it all. i’ll never get my head fully wrapped around God. this side of heaven i can never fully understand all that i wish i could know so this crazy life would all make so much more sense. (i wish i was taught more of this thinking early on because what i learned is that if you read your Bible enough and understand the scriptures and integrate them into your life the way you are supposed to, you will know.) now, i am much more apt to read the scriptures with awe, questions, and wonder. they stir my heart and make me think.

last week i was hanging out in the book of john, chapters 15, 16 and 17. in the upper room Jesus shares so much about his relationship with the Father & how the holy spirit will help us. their intimate connection with each other reflects their desire to be in intimate connection with us. in john 17:22-23 Jesus says, “i have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. i am in them and you are in me. may they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” when it comes to my spiritual journey, i don’t need to parse which part of the trinity is which and when—this time it’s God, the next time it’s Jesus, this time it’s the Holy Spirit. they are all reflections of the One. and i believe the One is always at work trying to get our attention, to permeate our hearts and minds and lives with this radical truth—he loves us. God loves us. he made us in their image to be in relationship with us the way they are in relationship with each other (and yes, we never fully can grasp all that that means and looks like but we can get a taste when we see Jesus connecting, submitting, and talking with his Father).

so what’s the big idea of the trinity? in this moment, my take is that it is a reflection of the fullness of God’s heart for us—that it was and is and will always be about relationship. that through relationship we learn more about his radical love, his heart for us as his children, his presence with us in the deepest parts of our story. God, fully divine, fully human, fully present. a beautiful mystery.

JENNY - sacred cows

this is a repost from jenny herrick’s blog. so good. may we be people willing to give up things that limit Jesus.

PART ONE:

I think one of my resolutions this year will be fewer sacred cows. Having been around the Church block a few times, I’ve at times found, adopted, rejected, or ignored rallying cries and doctrinal dividing lines along the way. Years ago I was part of discussions (i.e. arguments) to do with eschatological events and I’ve been fairly certain about different positions on opposite sides of the spectrum at different times! I could back both sides up with scripture. That shows how crazy some of that stuff gets. This is really weird, but I once had my community of faith (during early college years) tell me they “couldn’t fellowship with me anymore” because I was asking questions about the Holy Spirit! They believed charismatic experience was “wrong.” I wasn’t pushed out of the group because I was selling drugs or living with my boyfriend, but for messing with their sacred cow of doctrinal purity according to them.

Another group said I had to be “spirit-filled.” Anything liturgical was surely a sign of spiritual deadness and just head knowledge. Only certain people were allowed to pray for other people. I heard one leader say she wouldn’t let so-and-so (who by the way loved Jesus) touch her in prayer (afraid she would get slimed), thereby labeling that person as suspect, messed up, demonized or whatever in front of all the hearers. I am not talking about spiritual warfare, which I think is very real, but what seems like unkind pettiness.

I’ve heard warnings to be ultra-careful about what words come out of the mouth. A negative declaration may come true. Okay, this is a little extreme, but I know someone who will not say she is catching a cold, only that she is “catching a healing.” Very important to her, but seems a little like fantasyland to me.

These are admittedly my own absurd examples and in no way reflect the wonderful, wise, loving people I have known in all camps. I am so thankful for what I have learned and experienced from many persuasions in my faith journey. I’ve had some excellent mentors, too. It’s easy to look back and in hind sight see absurdity in some cases, but how many sacred cows do I still hold to (and even feed) that I don’t recognize as such? How many times do I think of someone as being “in” or “out” related to my or my group’s sacred cow? Do I alter my behavior to please people (whom I want to impress) over Jesus?

This year I hope to become freer from bottom lines that will not hold up over time. In other words, I want to grow in a knowledge of truth that causes me to root deeper in Jesus and his way (the way of love.) That sounds simplistic, but it is not. It is a process of debunking sacred cows that interfere with that along the way as I become aware of them. And friends, I will need you to help me. Are you “in” or “out”?

PART TWO:

Have you noticed how some people are affected by our sacred cows (methods of evangelism, prosperity message, etc…) Consider a portion of I Take My Chances by Mary Chapin Carpenter from one of my all-time favorite albums: Come On, Come On

I take my chances, I don’t mind working without a net
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get
I sat alone in the dark one night, tuning in by remote
I found a preacher who spoke of the light but there was brimstone in his throat
He’d show me the way according to him in return for my personal check
I flipped my channel back to CNN and I lit another cigarette

I take my chances, forgiveness doesn’t come with a debt
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I’ve crossed lines of words and wire and both have cut me deep
I’ve been frozen out and I’ve been on fire and the tears are mine to weep
Now I can cry until I laugh and laugh until I cry
So cut the deck right in half, I’ll play from either side

 

In Richard Foster’s discussion of Formation Prayer (Prayer, Finding the Heart’s True Home pp.60,61), he describes the active pursuit of humility. After all formation has to do with conformity to Christlikeness, so could it be that there is an antidote to some of our sacred cows that has to do with humility? He says:

…in simple terms, humility means to live as close to the truth as possible; the truth about ourselves, the truth about others, the truth about the world in which we live…

It does not mean groveling or finding the worst possible things to say about ourselves. Humility is in fact, filled with power to bring forth life. The word itself comes from the Latin humus, which means fertile ground. “Humility,” writes Anthony Bloom, “is the situation of the earth.” In one sense humility is nothing more than staying close to the earth. The earth, Bloom reminds us, is always with us, always taken for granted, always walked on by everyone. It is the place where we dump our garbage. “It’s there”, continues Bloom, “silent and accepting everything and in a miracuous way making out of all the refuse new richness…transforming corruption itself into a power of life and a new possibility of creativeness, open to the sunshine, open to the rain, ready to receive any seed we sow and capable of bringing thirtyfold, sixtyfold, a hundredfold out of every seed.” Such is the power of humility.

I want to think more about this power of humility. It sounds like a power for freedom, a power for joy, a power that attracts and makes people curious about the life it enables.

SAM - Less is More


I’ve used this video recently in a church classroom from You Tube titled Shift Happens to create conversation about globalization and explore the truths about our ever increasing globally connected society. Of the many mind boggling statements in the video, one of the most notable in the video was, “Did you know…we’re living in exponential times.” This was followed by example after example of where our current state of consciousness globally is to make more, create more, dream more, have more, produce more, see more, more, more, more. Well, you get the point. Which leads me to the conclusion, that since we live in Exponential Times we must be headed for an Exponential Faith. But what does that really mean?

Sunday night I sat in on a “Bible Study” that was all about Jesus. The topic of discussion was “Learning to slow your busy life down as Jesus did and make time to connect with God and/or be in God’s presence.” Not a bad topic at all. Scripture gives us examples of Jesus “getting away” to pray and such in Luke 4:42, Luke 5:15-16, Matthew 14:22-23, Luke 6:12…and I’m sure you could find more if you studied the Bible or just Googled it. Given all that good stuff, the reflection about Christ finding time to “chill” was a good one, until half way into the study I heard the magic word, the global word, the exponentially suggestive word…more. Once that word more is introduced in a faith study it’s like the shifting of the tectonic plates for some reason. The conversation shifted from an acknowledgement and identification of Jesus’ human need to take some time to step back from “busy life” to a formula of how we could have an exponential faith. And this is where I start to get uncomfortable.
Perhaps it’s the type of Christian I am, or lack of being a real Christian for that matter depending on how you receive the rest of this post, but I cringe at the idea of more of anything when it comes to looking at one’s spiritual life and thinking it’s not good enough where it is. I’ll admit I am an advocate for growth, absolutely without a doubt, though I advocate for a transformational learning approach towards growth, versus a transactional learning approach towards growth. The difference is this (defined in oversimplified terms):

Transactional Learning approach: a process becoming changed primarily by gaining factual knowledge.
Transformational Learning approach: a process of getting beyond gaining factual knowledge alone to instead become changed by what one learns in some meaningful way.

In my experience, when you engage Scripture to extract from it formulas to have more faith, more love, more trust, more healing, more strength, more Jesus, more God, more, more, more…in the least of these it produces more guilt. I would venture to say, that not simply for the least, but for most of us it produces more guilt somewhere down the road. More than likely it’s when we come to the realization that most of us can’t take these formulas and create more of anything. Consequently we’re left with ourselves and our ordinary faith. Then we feel like shit because we couldn’t be like Jesus.

I must confess I do believe we are living in exponential times, and therefore more of some things are needed. I would argue that we need more opportunities to engage in spiritual formation, which come forcefully through transformational learning. Primarily through engaging the kinds of people Jesus did, the least and the last, whatever that looks like in your context. I would challenge us all to go for it, but have no expectations of yourself, of others, or of Jesus. Just enter into community with others and be…then be yourself. Remember, you are loved wherever you are, and then remember you are invited to go a little further. Accepting that invitation will lead you to take one step forward, two steps back, and that’s just fine. Just start walking and remember, transformational learning is a two way street, which is best experienced when it means something to you, not some formula someone gave you.

Sam also blogs at www.geographyofgrace.com.

brian mclaren shares with the refuge!

the following was part of our november 2007 vertigo, the monthly refuge ezine (if you are interested in subscribing, click here). we have always known we wanted the refuge to be a missional community, deeply committed to global & local social justice. we want to stay connected to bigger conversations that are happening in the world because there are great thinkers out there stirring the pot & causing others to consider hard & challenging issues on how to live out the ways of Jesus in the midst of this broken & crazy world. one of those voices is brian mclaren. some of you have read his books, that include a new kind of christian, a generous orthodoxy, the secret message of Jesus. a former english teacher & pastor, he has been a key voice in challenging christians to consider how we can live the Kingdom of God now. he is booked solid for 2008 on a tour for his new book, everything must change (a worth read for sure!), but somehow in the midst of his crazy schedule he took time to answer the refuge’s request for an interview.

your books & teachings have been making a pretty big impact on the current christian culture. you are stirring the pot and causing people to really question what they believe about life as a christian. why do you think the message you are sharing has become so powerful?

At this point, I think my work has been more provocative than powerful. I hope it will be powerful in the sense of motivating more and more people first to see, then to care, then to act, and then to make a difference. Here’s what I mean: I was talking to Jim Wallis the other day, and we were talking about the change in the wind that we both feel - that more and more Christians are seeking an integral or holistic understanding of the faith, one that puts personal spirituality and social justice together. But then Jim added, “But 30,000 more people died yesterday from preventable diseases. Until that number goes down to 20,000, and 10,000 and 1,000, we aren’t really making the difference that’s needed.”

For that to happen - for us to move from thought to feeling to faith-in-action to Spirit-empowered-change - it takes groups like The Refuge working all this out on the ground in their neighborhoods, which is why I’m so thrilled to be talking with you.

I think that we all can feel a change is in the air. Something is trying to be born. Something is trying to take root. We feel the Holy Spirit groaning deep inside us, refusing to let us be complacent and satisfied. I hope my books are a little shred of those groanings, and that they’re resonating with the groanings other people feel.

what do you think isn’t working too well in the contemporary american church? what still amazes you about it?

I like the way you phrase that. I think a lot is going well, so uch really. But at the end of the day, I think Dallas Willard is right: we have a “great omission” in our “great commission” which means that we’re making Christians (or born-agains or charismatics or Baptists or Pentecostals or whatever) but not necessarily making disciples of Jesus the Liberating King. To put it more strongly, we’re better at making Christian consumers than we are at forming love-and-good-works-producers.

But a lot does still amaze me … a little Anglican church in Canada where people faithfully come to say and mean the Lord’s prayer and celebrate the eucharist and confess their sins and be sent out “to love and serve the Lord” - it’s a small miracle, really. A big megachurch in the US that’s mobilizing it’s people to address racism and poverty. A pentecostal super-megachurch in El Salvador that started a recycling center because they believe the Holy Spirit not only produces healings but also environmental responsibility. There are ten thousand beautiful stories like these.

Jesus had a lot to say about injustice, power, and the least of these. why do you think it’s been so easy for us to ignore injustices both locally and globally? what do you think we’re afraid of?

One of the big reasons is that we’ve been taught to read the Bible in special ways that blind us to a lot of its power. We’ve been taught to spiritualize and segment and hyper-analyzie and focus on trees and miss the forest. And I think you’re right when you imply that fear is a big part of it.

Partly, I think we’re afraid of change. But before we even get to that, I think we’re afraid of being criticized. A lot of our religious communities run on fear: ask the wrong question and you’re seen with suspicion. Don’t be satisfied with the standard answer and you’re out the door, with people talking about you behind your back. This atmosphere of fear accounts for a lot of our religious behavior, I think.

the title of this newest book is everything must change: Jesus, global crisis & a revolution of hope. why must everything change? what do you think is going to happen if we don’t change?

Jesus taught us to pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” So, wherever we see God’s will not being done … wherever God’s dreams for our earth aren’t coming true … that’s where change is needed. Of course, it doesn’t happen all at once: I’m not calling for violent revolution or careless insurgency. How the change happens is as important as that it happens: it happens quietly, but steadily, like yeast working in bread, like light penetrating darkness, like salt flavoring or preserving food, like fertilizer transforming soil so gardens can thrive.

In the book, I describe the peculiar and rather startling situation we’re now in: we’ve developed a large population, a huge rate ofglobal consumption and waste production, and a complex and somewhat fragile economic system supported by the most dangerous weapon systems in the history of history. This puts all of us at risk. I’d rather leave it up to readers’ imaginations to answer your question about what happens if we do nothing … because it’s not a pretty picture.

The good news is - and really, the book is about hope and good news -if we have faith as big as a sesame seed on a bagel, we can begin to turn things around. With God, nothing is impossible, and so mountains of injustice can be moved, and valleys of poverty can be filled in. I really believe that!

you travel a lot and see a depth & breadth of injustice in the world that many aren’t aware of. which injustices have gotten under your skin the most?

I suppose religious injustice comes to the surface first: religious people who use their holy texts - whether the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, or whatever - to legitimize the status quo or justify meanness. That makes me sick.

But beyond that, I’ve been thinking of economic injustice the most. I’ve been asking how can we turn capitalism around so that it becomes an engine not just of win-lose competition … us versus them, me versus you … but instead becomes a catalyst for collaboration, you and me together for the common good. I guess you’d call it capitalism with a conscience. I’m really inspired dreaming about an ethical buying movement, where we use the democracy of dollars to work for global social justice. Wouldn’t it be great to go into a store and find a code or rating on every product … so that we had the chance to choose products that were produced by means that are socially and environmentally sustainable? I really believe that’s something that we as people of faith could make happen, and it could make a real difference for billions of people.

we agree with you, that as Christians we have spent a lot of our time & energy in the wrong place–focusing on what we need to do to get to heaven, instead of thinking about how to live out the Kingdom here on earth. what are some ways you believe we can live the Kingdom now?

For Jesus, it starts with how we treat our neighbors. So you’re white and you’re getting on the bus or you’re walking into a party - where do you sit and who do you try to get to know? Another white person of your social class and race? Or do you specifically look for “the other” - the woman with a Muslim head scarf, or the kid with a bunch of tattoos, or the African American teenager standing in the corner? A smile on the sidewalk, an extra kind word in the check-out line … these small actions add up.

Of course, it’s an election year, and so we all need to take voting seriously. As I see it, as a follower of Jesus, I can’t simply vote my self-interest. I have to vote on behalf of the salmon and the warblers and the desert tortoises who don’t have anyone voting for them. I need to vote on behalf of the innocent kid in Iran who might be bombed pre-emptively if we elect a warrior president. I need to vote for the poor farmers in Sierra Leone - whose lives would be way better if we had a president dedicated to using American power as a good neighbor, not as an imperial power. That sort of thing comes to mind.

Ironically, for those of us who believe that heaven is a gift of grace, not something we have to work for or achieve … we of all people really don’t need to be preoccupied with that any more, so we should be of all people most free and ready to invest our lives for the least, the last, and the lost, as Jesus did.

In the book, I try to help people understand how to make a difference by looking at the world in terms of three interlocking systems - a prosperity system, a security system, and an equity system. I think that we can find ways to function in each of these systems according to kingdom-of-God values … and we can be agents of the kingdom in all our daily actions.

you are a spiritual activist, calling out some things that you believe are wrong with the system. how do you live out what God has layed on your heart even though the system doesn’t like it very much? does it make you angry, others’ responses to you, calling you a liberal heretic among other things? what do you do with your anger? how do you not get cynical? (we are taking notes)

If religion is the opiate of the masses, as Marx said, then cynicism is the opiate of intellectuals and the graveyard of activists who burn out. So you’re so wise to see the dangers of cynicism and bottled up anger - which turns to bitterness and ruins your ability to serve others in love. I don’t like being criticized, but I try to keep a few things in mind. First, as the singer Jackson Browne said, if you have a few real true friends, somehow all the other ones are easier to bear. So I cherish my friends as never before when I find a lot of people lining up as critics.

Second, I remember I’m a sinner, which normally isn’t very hard because I’m constantly proving the fact. The worst thing anyone has ever said about me isn’t as bad as what I know about myself, and nothing compared to what God knows about me. In this way, critics are what you could call “cruel friends” - they do you an immense service of helping keep you humble. Third, I try to remember that people who criticize me are just doing what they think is right. I’ve criticized a lot of people unfairly or in ignorance myself through the years, so how can I be angry at others for doing what I myself have done? Fourth, I remember Scriptures like Paul’s words in Colossians, where we’re called to forgive others as God has forgiven us in Christ, or I recall the Lord’s prayer, where Jesus teaches me to forgive as I would have God forgive me.

Fifth, I realize that I can learn a lot from criticism. Some is just mean, and you have to filter that out. But some criticism is constructive and a great learning opportunity. Sixth, I pray a lot. There’s a beautiful prayer someone gave me - it’s by a Serbian Orthodox bishop, and it’s called “prayer for enemies.” People can find it on my website …. brianmclaren.net. That prayer has helped me so much, I can hardly say. It begins, “Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.” Then it lists all the ways enemies and critics help us. “Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so do I, pursued by enemies, find safer shelter in the shadow of your wings” - it’s really beautiful and inspiring and challenging.

But I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t add that sometimes I just fail and the anger gets the best of me, and I start to get discouraged and overwhelmed. Often, at that point, God sends along some encouragement through a friend or a reader or someone I meet. So ultimately, I feel that I’m upheld by a power far greater than I can take any credit for.

there are all kinds of labels people have given to describe you–liberal, nonorthodox, neoevangelical. how would you like to be described?

Hmmm. I guess I’d like to be known as a fallible human being who is trying to learn to follow Jesus. As a human being, I have something in common with everyone in the world - Jewish, Muslim, atheist, Catholic, Protestant, whatever. And as someone trying to learn to follow Jesus, I am called to serve everyone and love them as my neighbor, which flows from loving the God who loves us all. But my guess is that this can’t be reduced to a functional label very well!

okay, last question, this is a practical one. the refuge is a rag-tag community of Christ-followers. we’re pretty messed up ourselves, without alot of resources, but we have huge hearts to impact the Kingdom. what are some things we could do as individuals to do to start a “revolution of hope” in a really practical way?

At the end of “Everything Must Change,” I really grapple with this question, and I decide not to come up with a list, but simply to focus on one thing: faith. I believe the most radical thing we can do is to disbelieve the many framing stories that are given to us, and believe the story given to us by Jesus.

If we have that shift in confidence, I think it will work out in a thousand really exciting ways. In fact, we’ll be developing a blog where people can share ideas about what they’re doing and how it’s going. And that will be a major function of the tour we’re doing early next year too - to help people dream together and share ideas.

Thankfully, there are so many great organizations that we can team up with. Amahoro-africa.org, floresta.org, sojo.net, emergentvillage.com, World Vision, the One Campaign and the MIcah Challenge are some of my favorites.

But let me just add one more practical idea. I think passionate people like you all could do something really interesting and enjoyable: throw parties for your neighbors. Just get people together. Have some games, help people get-acquainted, have some good food, wear name tags, share email addresses and phone numbers. Then the host could say something like this: “I’m really glad everyone came over, because I think we all feel that the world needs a lot of change, and I’m hoping we can try to be good neighbors for each other. In other words, we know the world needs a lot of change, and we can make a little start there by being the kind of neighborhood that would make the world a better place. That’s why we wanted to get everyone together, and if you have any ideas, I’m ready to help.” Then see if anyone has an idea. No prayers, no sermons, just an act of good will toward your neighbors. I think that if a bunch of us did this sort of thing, pretty soon people would be talking about God, because a good neighbor is a sign of the kingdom of God, at least I think that’s one thing Jesus was telling us.

brian mclaren is an author, speaker, pastor, and networker among innovative Christian leaders, thinkers, and activists. married to Grace, they have four young adult children. you can learn more about brian & organizations he is involved with at www.brianmclaren.net.

check out info for the everything must change 2008 tour here (tracy howe collaborated with brian on a CD that is companion to the book & is part of the tour. details here)

to order everything must change, click here

check out this brian mclaren YOUTUBE video for an overview of everything must change

KATHY - meat lovers beware! our taste buds have been contaminated

“i want some meat!”

“i wish we could get more meat!”

“we really need more meat!”

i know those of you who are struggling to buy groceries are thinking the same thing. but i’m talking about a different kind of meat that has nothing to do with grocery stores but everything to do with church. i have heard the cry for “meat” within the church ever since i became a true-blue evangelical church-going christian. when i entered into a season of spiritual and emotional healing about 14 years ago I remember demanding it myself. things started getting a little intense in my women’s group (people were really sharing honestly from their heart, not holding back, going the distance instead of faking it) and i told my group leader “i really wish we used the Bible more in here, i really want more meat! i really want to grow…” (i am now of course so embarrassed that I said this & after having seen the light a few years later confessed to her for not recognizing then that what we were doing in that little group was far more than just some stupid slab of spiritual meat—it was actually the whole cow!). but i was not alone in this kind of thinking. i hear it all the time, although now it is like nails on a chalkboard to me, maybe even like all of my children’s nails on a chalkboard all at once. and as you all know that is a lot of fingernails!

here’s what i think people mean by “meat.”

1. “Bible knowledge” - as in scripture verses and telling us exactly what they are supposed to mean. the more the better. a little bit of hebrew or greek translation adds the perfect spice.

2. “teaching” - teachers telling people what they think they need to learn or know in a very specific clear way so that we feel like we got a “lesson”, something motivating.

3. “certainty” – these are the facts and we are 100% certain that’s what this means and on top of that we are certain this is what you are supposed to do with this knowledge, too.

4. “a touch of shame” – some kind of moment that gets created when you think “now I’ll try harder….I need to be more godly…I am convicted and now this week I will get rid of that sin for good.”

while none of those things are inherently “wrong” what gets to me about all of them is they are sort of irrelevant to the gospel of Jesus. in fact, he said over and over to the religious leaders who had these 4 things mastered up and down, backwards & forwards, “ummm, guys, you are missing the point. here’s all that you need to do—be like me.” he didn’t say “go to a room, feed your belly with knowledge, get inspired and go home feeling spiritually fat.” he said, “hang out with the outcasts, the losers, the nonreligious, the prostitutues, the sick (oh, and by the way, that means you), get in touch with your brokenness & need for me and practice the way of self-sacrifice, generosity of spirit, humility and love. yes, my friends, this is what will change the world.”

i love the Bible. i think scripture can be transforming. but i also believe we have dismissed that true spiritual maturity is a life of serving others in tangible ways, humbling ourselves to the lowest place, giving up our comfort, money, time, pride for the sake of others. remember, the word of God became flesh, and that is what He did.

i think when we are honest what we really want is to be spoonfed spiritual milk and are terrified of true, tasty, Jesus steaks. most of the people i have been around through the years who demand “meat” are great, sincere believers. but usually their expressed desire for “meat” is actually them running for the safety of others who are more socially acceptable and sound more godly.

you see, the church has contaminated our taste buds. we have been taught to think that “spiritual” must include Bible knowledge, certainty, teaching, a touch of shame (and healing that looks like good behavior) so we keep seeking after it, church after church, Bible study after Bible study. but honestly, what it seems like to me is that people keep learning but never really apply much. we’re lonely but we never connect. we keep slipping in and out of services but never engage with a hurting person beyond “hi, nice to meet you.” we keep going to Bible studies & church meetings & services & prayer times hoping we’ll become more like Jesus and end up insulating ourselves more and more from the very places Jesus always was hanging out.

so here’s my soapbox mantra for the past 5 years or so, everytime I hear someone demand “meat”….“okay, no problem, look around. i see freezer after freezer full of it.”

reach out to someone in need no matter how messy it seems. help the poor. sacrifice your time and money. restore a broken relationship. love the outcast, especially the person that bugs the hell out of you. spend the time you waste watching TV investing in a person, no matter how young or old. stop nagging your spouse and change your behavior. serve someone else. open your home to others. force yourself to do something uncomfortable. get your head around the reality that you’re just as messed up as ‘those people’. humble yourself and let another person into your life. stay in a friendship for the long haul instead of running away.

and here’s what i believe usually happens next—never directly, always subtly—“nah, that kind of meat, i can do without. when does the next Bible study start?”

our taste buds have been contaminated. Jesus’ ways sometimes don’t initially taste too good going down. but for me, i have to say, nothing’s better than the aftertaste– the quiet moments when I notice where God’s spirit worked, what He is teaching me about me, life, humanity in the midst, and the beauty in the ugliness.

i know a lot of people think that at the refuge we are drinking milk. it sure tastes like steak to me.

dreams


we have a dream…
it’s not a small one.
it’s not a huge one (we’re not planning to lead any marches anytime soon)
we think it’s a simple one.

and despite our cynicism about ‘church’ (yes, we know it seeps through!) we are idealists. we wouldn’t be doing this if we had given up.

we are still “foolish” enough to think some of our dreams are possible. we think when Jesus said “your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” he meant that the Kingdom was possible now.

here are a few of our dreams…

we have a dream that we’d be people who took Jesus word’s seriously. this means we don’t get to just talk about it, we actually have to be forgiving, loving, sacrificing, humble. we need to be people willing to give away our stuff, care for the widows and orphans, die to ourself, hug lepers, lay down power, and make peace with our enemies.

we have a dream that all people would be valued. when we look at each other we don’t let color, socioeconomics, gender, theologies, shapes or sizes or social abilities get in the way of seeing the image of God and respecting each other’s worth, value & contribution to this world.

we have a dream that no single parent would feel like they were parenting alone. they’d have other people willing to fill in the gaps, pick up the slack, offer help, prayer, and love so it’s not so damn hard.

we have a dream that no one would feel crippled by their weaknesses. the damage from the past & present would not paralyze us from living out who God made us to be, instead, we’d use our story to help another person.

we have a dream that we’d know our neighbors. actually know them, and notice if they’re hungry or sad or lonely and do something about it if we can.

we have a dream that every child had grownups other than their parents who believed in them. we’d see all that was possible, and cheer them on in really tangible ways.

we have a dream that people of Jesus would be known for the acts of Jesus. when people hear the word “Christian” they did not cringe and immediately think “judgemental”. instead, they’d have warm feelings that were associated with the truth of Christ’s love & kindness because they experienced it from one of us at some point and couldn’t escape its power.

we have a dream that we’d be advocates. we will stand with the marginalized, oppressed, poor & unlovely, that we’d risk our pride. position, and power so that someone with none could get a little.

we have a dream that walls between churches & the community would crumble. walls that have been built because of fear and past ugly experiences would dissolve. that we’d learn to share resources, support each other & let care for human beings supersede our politics & theologies.

we have a dream that every person would feel known, loved & cared for by another human being. that we’d do our little part to help banish loneliness.

we have a dream that we’d be a community of dreamers. what are some of yours?

KATHY - fabio jesus


i hate to pick on fabio, but honestly, I do not know what his appeal is. he’s just so….perfect. those abs, the flowing hair, the perfect smile, those penetrating eyes. if you could can the world’s view of “perfect specimen” of course he would be it. (i will admit i do have a weakness for long hair, jose had me under his spell when he grew his hair out last year and had that liberal-lawyer-surfer look! too bad he has to keep his job as mr. conservative united pilot) but, back to fabio. and Jesus.

a few weeks ago, I was watching the trinity broadcasting network, the home of christian-evangelical-name-it-and-claim-it-craziness. we are talking a serious multimillion dollar industry—all in the name of Jesus. it actually is quite nauseating but our friend nadia was asked to write a book about her experience of watching TBN for 24 hours straight. she wanted to add some flavor to each hour, so she invited karl & i over to offer our perspectives since we are now pretty much former good evangelicals who now live in the sh**ty christian camp. well our hour slot included a ½ hour program called God Wants You to be Wealthy where the “speaker” wore a silver trenchcoat mini-mini dress with 4 inch heels and tried to hock her book “God wants you to be a millionaire.” She encouraged us to “sow our best gift now” by donating to her program. don’t even get me going on that one. but my commentary for the moment is that she was perfect in every way, with off the charts confidence, and an absolutely convincing delivery to all of the poor souls who are just hoping for some kind of crumb to make their lives better. her promises were ridiculous and using God that way just really gets to me…the other 1/2 hour program featured the Holy Land Adventure theme park in orlando, with Jesus reenactments throughout the day. guess who Jesus looked like? yeah, fabio.

have we simply made God in our own image? we want Jesus to be hip, cool, appealing. that’s what we are drawn to—images in people magazine & cosmo. christianity (mostly the american version) have become the root of a money making machine, a business that is fine-tuned and finessed to perfection. we like to watch and listen to people who are good looking, smart & make life look simple. this flawless, easy, and comfortable appearance has become a staple of church programming. we want to make the gospel easy for people to get. we want to make their church experience comfortable, distraction-free. we don’t want anyone to be offended. we want Jesus to be attractive. what Bible are we reading for goodness sake? Jesus was ugly. not cool. not worldly. not slick. not hot. the old testament prophet isaiah describes him this way:

he had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
he was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
(isaiah 53:2-3)

does this look like the Jesus most churches are trying to sell? does this look to you like any of the pretty, neat, and tidy intact families you see on most church programs & websites? I don’t want to dismiss all those pearly white teeth and smiling faces, but come on, people that look like that, really only “look” like that. and here’s the rub–these are the people most churches are trying to attract. pretty, happy, smiling, successful, confident, married with 2.5 kids. they look great—on the outside.

well, Jesus surely wouldn’t have made the photo shoot cut. there’s no glamour in who He was, what He did, and what He has called us all to. in fact, not only is it not glamorous, but it’s downright stinky, dirty, and as ugly as you can get. feed the poor, hug the lepers, give away all of your money, care for the prostitutes, share your stuff, sacrifice your pride & comfort & family’s name, lay down power, hang out in the slums, be honest about all the daily struggles in your imperfect life. that, my friends, is the gospel. you see, it can’t be cleaned up. because real humanity, people trying to live this difficult Genesis 3 life, isn’t pretty. it’s full of pain and insecurity and shame and sin and craziness and desperation. i don’t care how pretty you try to dress it up on the outside, it just isn’t all that attractive. now I personally find it beautiful beyond words—all that rawness, dirt & sweat rubbed up against honesty, unconditional love, grace, healing, and hope. to me, it’s glory. i believe wholeheartedly that Jesus came to dwell with us in the stench and offer beauty and redemption in the midst. He sits in the muck and isn’t afraid of it because it’s real.

so why are we so afraid of it? i am. i admit it regularly. i think it’s because i often make God in my own image. i lump Jesus into all my worldly ideas about success and value and beauty. everything has to be fabio-like, but in reality, life gets ugly. yeah, i can clean up the outside pretty nicely, but it’s just christian window dressing. my faith isn’t strong enough to heal me, victory is not my middle name, shame is. i can never really measure up. i keep screwing up the same things over and over again. i know that’s the big idea of the gospel—we can’t. i can’t. it’s why i so desperately need the real Jesus and His grace, His hope, His help. the whole big idea here was always our heart, the stuff on the inside, but that is always the most dangerous place to go. my hour of TBN tv-watching just reminded me how often the current contemporary “church” (and me, when i’m making God in my own image) isn’t into the real Jesus. and i think that there’s a simple reason—the real Jesus is unpredictable, wild, crazy, and asks us to do hard things in our life that require us to get up off our comfy seats, peel our eyes off the video screen, and engage in the ugliness & beauty of other human beings. to bring what’s underneath our veneer and coverups to the table and look beyond what we see on the surface in others, too. money, power, comfort. strength, worldy beauty. none of it means a damn thing in God’s economy but it sure gets some serious airtime in the american church, and not just the ones on TV. Jesus, forgive us, for making you in our image. we admit, it’s a really bad (albeit easier) idea.

KATHY - Downward Mobility

Well it’s official I am over the hill! 40 years old. I know those of you who have already hit this mark don’t have a lick of sympathy for me. My favorite card this year was made by my son Josh, who’s 15. Here’s what he made up:
Roses are red, violets are blue
You might be 40 but you look 22
Yeah, he’s a liar, but he loves me (and if you ever need a self-esteem lift, just talk to Josh, he’s the best at that). But really, I am realizing that this whole turning 40 thing has been harder than I thought it would be. I keep flashing back to the idealistic dreams I had when I was twenty. When I was young and stupid I definitely thought life would be a lot easier when I was forty. In my dream, I wouldn’t have to worry about money, I’d be at the pinnacle of my career, fairly chaos-free, I’d have my two perfectly behaved children and a maid who would clean my house every week. Somehow, someway in the last 20 years, things have gone awry. A lot of my friends from college are rich but I now make less money than I made almost 20 ago when I graduated from college. Chaos is a word many people use when describing my life, somehow two kids became five, and walk into my house and it’s quite clear that there’s not a maid to be seen! My big plans for upward mobility have been thwarted over the years. Things didn’t go quite the way I had hoped. What happened?

Jesus got a hold of me, that’s what happened. And he keeps ruining my plans for upward mobility. Every time I try to get it, it sort of slips away. I think that’s a little bit what happened to me in this past year and a half as I transitioned off the mega-church fast-track and back into real life. Power, status, money, whatever you call it, escaped me once again. Hmm, I am pretty sure those were the exact things Jesus railed against but I am so attracted to. Jesus’ plan seemed to be a lot more about downward mobility than up. That’s kind of the big idea in the Kingdom. Whoever is first shall be last and the last shall be first. The least of these…blessed are the poor in spirit…all of the things the world (and even the “church”) told me I should shoot for, achieve, do, really, in God’s economy, means nothing. God’s economy is about love, tangibly expressed. And boy am I surrounded by a lot of people who know how to do that well. Real, true, authentic people who don’t give a rip about upward mobility and 401k’s and color swatches for their walls. I am in the trenches with people who are fighting for their lives, trying to live it well, and fighting for mine, too. And they’re fighting for the lives of others who can’t fight for themselves, either. Yesterday I watched a video of the poorest of the poor in India, beautiful women and children ravaged by AIDS and living in the slums, sold into prostitution, sifting through garbage to find something to eat. I sat at this table with people who are smart, talented, educated who have sacrificed their careers, money, status and power, to care about the least of these. I was awed. And reminded, for the next 40 years, I will have to fight against my human nature to clamor for “upward mobility”, a bigger paycheck, more status and power and listen to Jesus’ call…go down, Kathy, downward mobility, that’s what I’m all about

I need to be reminded that Jesus’ words of blessing to the poor, marginalized, the downwardly mobile was not a threat, a coercion technique to force me into a miserable life. His call to me to go downward is His methodology for the abundant life, the easy yoke He places. If I crave His peace and presence, then I guess I have to trust His methods. Funny, isn’t it, that I think more money, power, status will give me security and a strong sense of self? Yet Jesus says it will be exactly the opposite…if I find my life, I will lose it…

KARL - Speed: Expectations of the Mega-Church

What is fast? I think I know because God has given me a gauge, an internal and irrefutable indicator of too much speed. It’s called the constricting sphincter. I remember riding with my friend who believed he could “feel the road,” so 67 mph around one lane mountain passes made all the sense in the world. I chewed a hole in his seat. I understand that speed is inherently a subjective and biased opinion. “Hey, I think we need to slow down” can be heard in planes, board rooms, back seats, athletic fields. But what about churches and God?

I was reflecting recently on the one year anniversary of my departure from mega-church employment and what is different now. The question arose, “what has been the biggest shift in what you believe?” It is about speed. I was pre-disposed to think that people change very quickly. A single sermon, or at the least a series, is all it takes to get things moving in the proper direction. One or two weeks of being stuck, just add a little spiritual fiber (prayer, Bible reading, and solid preaching, the evangelical elixir) and presto, unstuck. A few years of being stuck, you might need to throw in a few extra scoops of godly Metamucil—extra time with me as your pastor offering my eloquent wisdom and maybe a good book to read about your ailment, and voila! Ahh, movement. My apologies, I seem to be a bit stuck in the lower hemisphere for my analogies today. Suffice it to say the expectations in mega- church world are that people should very quickly resolve what it is that ails them.

One of the issues that lead to my demise of employment was I have some unresolved childhood stuff. I am insecure, frightened at times, a compulsive people pleaser and so on. But way more grievous is that I thought it should be talked about. I will give you a quote upon my departure “you need to go away with God and get this resolved before you are qualified to preach.” Get ‘er done! What is funny, is that the powers that be would think I had never tried that! Trust me, I would take an instant, miraculous healing in a second.

The shift in my perception and ability to pastor that has become the most noticeable this past year: take what you or your church believe to be the proper amount of time to experience change and simply multiply that number by 100. Change is a factor of 100 times slower than what you thought. Churches are in danger of subtly communicating the opposite, especially when all of our stories are of the victories we have and the quickly resolved issues. We begin to create communities of people who believe they are spiritual freaks, they are not like others because although they love Jesus and have begged for change, it still seems so far away. Real change takes time, and time isn’t all that glamorous. Let’s face it, The Refuge, it ain’t all that glamorous. It is sometimes ugly, frustrating to see a lot of pain and have it not be resolved quick enough for us to feel comfortable. I feel the same way about my journey of change, too. I want it to be neater, cleaner, and certainly more triumphant.

So we continue to hope for the simple fix. Just think for a moment how many times you have sat in church and you heard this preface to what it is that plagues us: “well, all you need to do is….” One problem, one solution, and fast!

When I hear that sentence, I start to cramp up, way too fast.