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we are the refuge

hands

this past sunday as we wrapped up our summer series on community, we wrote some identity poems related to the refuge & also ourselves. we thought we’d share the refuge ones so everyone could listen in on our heart. the first one was a community effort—each table contributed particular lines to the poem. the second one was written by sage and powerfully read during the sharing. both reflect the heart and ever-evolving identity of the refuge.

*****

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we wonder where this journey is taking us

we hear hopefulness from people we love & a fruitful silence

we see healing & chaos

we want true community, acceptance, humor, fun, realness & to make a difference

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we pretend that we’re cool, that nothing’s wrong

we feel known, uncomfortable, deeply connected, exposed, accepted, appreciated, safe & loved

we touch many lives & pressure points

we worry in our attempt to include the marginalized of society that we’ll turn our hearts back on all others

we cry with each other as we share our stories

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we understand that we don’t have all the answers

we say that relationships are intentional

we dream a lot, that we’d be a truly loving community, real people and love Jesus

we try to live our dreams

we hope for twinkle twinkle little star (stella’s addition), community & connection, honesty, equality, to be embracing, an extension of God’s love, to always be stretching outward, transparent to the world, to foster a deep sense of awareness of each person’s value.

we are seeking & welcoming friends

we are the refuge.

–written by the refuge community 8.11.08

*****

we are loving & chaotic

we wonder if we can really love one another

we hear God’s voice in and among us

we see God’s hand at work in us

we want a place to rest from our wandering

we are loving & chaotic

we pretend to be understanding & welcoming

we feel wrapped in community

we touch hands as brothers & sisters in Christ

we worry that we can’t do this

we cry when we fall short

we are loving & chaotic

we understand that God’s love is real

we say that Jesus makes everything possible

we dream they kingdom come, thy will be done

we try to make that happen for everyone

we hope to bring God’s kingdom for all

we are loving & chaotic

we are the refuge

- sage harmos, 8.11.08

KATHY – camping: church at its finest!

campfireas you all know by now, i have a lot of issues with “church.” i love love love people gathered together in all kinds of ways to learn and practice loving God, our neighbors, ourselves. it’s the programs, the inauthenticity, the power b.s., the unnaturalness of it all that i can do without. i believe wholeheartedly, in every fabric of my being, that without community and deep connection with other people (whatever that may look like) we will never be able to live out the ways of Jesus and experience the fullness of relationship with God. i am fairly convinced typical church systems that feed inspiration addiction provide a false sense of spiritual maturity where learning “about” certain things becomes enough and we are never forced to actually be in meaningful intimate connection with the people we sit next to week after week. lives need to be rubbed up against other lives. that’s where the real action happens and we learn what it means to really love & be loved.

at the refuge, we are not trying to be anti-institutional for the sake of being anti-institutional. it’s just that we are dreamers. we dream that the body of Christ would look much more like a family than a business or a production. after spending last weekend at the 3rd annual refuge camping trip at jackson lake i walked away with this thought: church should probably be a lot more like camping! really, it has all of the elements that i love & value about “church” the way i dreamed it could be:

• all the cover-ups are stripped away - camping is a great equalizer. a tent’s a tent. no one cares about what you wear or what you look like. every person trying to pull themselves up on a tube in the middle of the lake looks awkward, no matter how much money they make or what job they have. in a good way, camping (especially when there’s water because that means bathing suits!) exposes us in a safe container because everyone else is equally exposed, too.

• everyone shares - that is one of my favorite things, when we are camping there’s an incredible sharing of “stuff” with each other. we had 14 sites all to ourselves and there was zigzagging all over the place… ”need an extra tent? want some eggs? i’ve got some bacon! come over to our place and we’ll cook up the food.” needs get met. openhandedness abounds.

• conversations flow - fire, time and space creates a container for relaxed & meaningful conversation. no one’s rushed, hurried, has an agenda, or always has the floor.

• playing & more playing - little kids playing with big kids, big kids making new friends, games around the picnic table, balls getting tossed, splashing in the water, silly songs around the campfire, people trying things they don’t normally try, laughter everywhere. that’s worship.

• the little ones are a part - kids & grownups together is really important to me. we’re supposed to know each other’s kids & look after them & help them & love them instead of keeping them safely put away while we “do our thing”. when we’re camping, we’re all together, eyes and hearts and hands all over the place making sure everyone’s known & taken care of.

• relaxed instead of rushed - hurriedness is what messes with community. rushing in, rushing out, going from one thing to the next and never being able to be present in the moment. the stress of time and responsibilities and pressures really rob us of peace & connection. when we’re camping, we’re chill. we’re present. we’re unwound instead of wound up. we’re glad to be here instead of thinking where else we have to go next.

i could go on and on about all the cool parallels and i am sure i missed some other big ones, but you get the point. yeah, to me, camping really is “church” at its finest.
here’s a photo collage from our time together:

our camping collage

graffiti art!

graffiti wall

a few saturdays ago the refuge hosted a graffiti art workshop at joshua station, our friends near downtown denver who provide transformational housing for struggling families. it was a perfect spot for our gathering and sam trujillo, who works for milehigh ministries (the umbrella organization for joshua station), did an amazing job facilitating a wild and crazy afternoon. we had 30 participants, about 1/2 from the refuge, 1/2 from joshua station, with a wide range of ages (from 8 to 69 years old!) and backgrounds (the best part). the common thread that wove us together was a desire to express ourselves in ways that some of us aren’t used to, to connect with our artistic side, our story. sam used a great combination of videos, conversation, and all kinds of mediums to help people connect. one tool he used was a template for an “i am” poem that people could use to add to their piece. you can check out the template here if you want to give it a try on your own.

you can check out a gallery of pictures from the afternoon here

and some other blog posts with some highlights: here and here

we definitely hope to offer more experiences like this in the future so people of all ages, backgrounds & spiritual journeys can have an opportunity to express themselves through art. thanks, sam!

the refuge Xperience

in november we hosted a really fun evening for people outside of the refuge to get a taste of our community & mission called refuge Xperience. it was an evening of creative conversation, drama, dinner, and communion. part of this evening was showing a dvd produced by tom herrick & paul romig-leavitt that shared a bit of who we were. it all starts with one of our favorite events the refuge hosted last october-dialogue instead of debate, the conversation between an atheist & a christian. since this dvd was produced, the refuge continues to evolve, but it gives everyone a taste and we didn’t want to keep it to ourselves (it took us a while to get it up on youtube!):

authentic community

“we have all known the long loneliness, and we have found that the answer is community” - dorothy day

there’s no question, at the refuge, we believe spiritual transformation happens through community. it is not the only way. there are lots of ways to experience God, grow in our relationship with God, and learn a lot about God. Jesus transforms in many wonderful ways. but we also wholeheartedly believe that the greatest work of our spiritual journey will happen through relationships, true authentic community. the reason why this usually gets pushed to the bottom of the list when it comes to church programming is that it is by far the hardest thing to do. lasting, true authentic community doesn’t come in a contrived program. it can’t be talked into people. it has to be created, cultivated. it is messy, it is scary, it is unpredictable. most of us aren’t that great at it. plus, the selling points aren’t the most marketable. in fact, there are a few 100% guarantees when it comes to authentic community:

- you will be annoyed
- it will be time consuming
- you will get hurt and frustrated

100% guaranteed. there’s some good odds! but we do believe there are so many upsides to actually giving your heart, time, self to the body of Christ and allowing others in instead of just protecting yourself by only “serving others” or staying on the fringes. we believe that authentic community will be the place where we learn grace. where we learn to give it. where we learn to receive it. grace can never be theoretical. that is why no amount of sermonizing or scripturizing can teach it. it’s only through authentic community that we can come radically in touch with our humanness, our brokenness, our selfishness, our desire to be loved and truly known (even though it can be terrifying).

so the refuge is deeply committed to creating the kind of sacred space where authentic community has the greatest chance of actually happening. a few weeks ago when we talked about the spiritual discipline of incarnational relationships, sam & tiera trujillo shared with us 7 marks of authenticity in a community. (check out the blog sam edits geography of grace–it has some great stuff on it). these are marks we desire of our culture. they are the things we will keep at the center of our community as guides for our future. they will help us not lose sight of why we do certain things even though they can be annoying.

7 marks of authenticity in a community:

1. be real.
“the prayer that precedes all other prayers is may the real I meet the real Thou.” C.S. Lewis

no need to hide. just put it out there, the real story. the body of Christ should be the one place where you don’t need to pretend.

2. risk.
“test the possibility that in one’s own voice is the voice of another’s suppressed longing.” Krasner and Joyce

our hope is that we will continue to create spaces at our large and smaller gatherings where people experiment with crazy ways of connecting with God, each other. that there’s always this little degree of discomfort that keeps us moving, considering, challenged instead of remaining passive. at the end of the year we want to look back on some things we’ve tried and say “well, we will never do that again, but we’re glad we tried.” we’re not trying to push people because we are sadistic (yes, we know it can sometimes feel that way!) we just think communities need to be willing to experiment and try instead of only rely on “the sure thing that sells and makes people feel good.”

3. question.
“the beautiful answer is always preceded by the more beautiful question.” e.e. cummings

a place to question, a place to doubt, a place to not get certain answers crammed down your throat. this is very important to us.

4. dialogue.
dialogue is the reminder that something can happen not merely “to” us and “in” us but also “between” us. Martin Buber

authentic community can never be created when we aren’t talking together, back and forth. when only leaders get to talk and everyone else just sits and listens. conversation is where the action happens and sometimes we don’t notice it until we think about it later.

5. honor holy failure.
“my idea of God is not a divine idea. it has to be shattered time after time. He shatters it himself…this shattering is one of the marks of his presence.” C.S. Lewis

well clearly we are really good at failing. we honor it. our motto: “at least we tried.”

6. laugh.
“God gave us an imagination to console us who we aren’t, and a sense of humor to console us for who we are.” Francis Bacon

laughing at ourselves. laughing and crying at the same time. it’s our favorite thing. no need to take ourselves so darn seriously. life’s too hard without a lot of laughing.

7. love one another.
“beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. ” 1 John. 4:11

that’s the big idea. without love, we are nothing. talking about love means little. actually practicing loving the unlovable, letting others love the unlovable parts of us. passing on love to our neighbors. now that’s the real deal.

sophisticated toddlers

we always say at the refuge that we are just babies at this. we are less than 2 years old, toddlers, really, when it comes to planting a new community. a few months ago we met a pastor of a sweet little church in east denver who told us that his congregation was pretty young—only 22 years old! it made us laugh because we always think we’re so far behind. then we remember that most of our friends who are pastoring other communities have been at it a long time; they are 8, 9, 10 years ahead of us. sometimes we get really distorted thinking, kind of like the toddler or preschooler who thinks they should be able to do something that the older kids are doing. they get frustrated because they just…can’t. there are many things we’d love to do and try and experience but we just aren’t quite ready for it yet. maturity takes too long!

but at the same time, the crazy part of the refuge is that even though we are young, just babies learning to walk, we also have this incredibly weird sophistication when it comes to connection, community, love. like little kids who naturally play and laugh and make up games we don’t have foundations or structures that we “should have” according to the church planting books, and boy do we suck at raising money, but something really wild and beautiful is happening. In a strange way, it is often the adult world that spoils the wonder and joy of being a child. no amount of planning or money can produce the uninihabited joy of children.

so who knows what 2008 will bring. remember, we’re just learning to walk. this means lots of bruises, bumps, maybe even stitches. we’re glad we’re in this together. as we wrap up this year and look forward to the next, here are some of our milestones, and boo-boos of 2007:

boo-boos:
…wrap things in bubble wrap and hand them out in the service
…have a spontaneous service project instead of a worship service (we will continue to want to serve, but maybe give folks a heads up!)
…a december baptism, outside, at nightinvite cupid’s brother to valentine’s day party and let him leave his shirt off
…can you say “technical difficulties”?
…underestimating how long it would take to finish a basement!
…sneaking gogurts into joshua station & assuming the sugar wouldn’t affect the kids

milestones:
…embracing that the refuge will always have “technical difficulties”
…inviting jim & casper to come to denver for dialogue instead of debate
…a wonderful Christmas present—news from the IRS we got our 501c3!
…inviting mrs. claus back to the refuge for the single mom’s “tea” (only to discover she’s as bitchy as ever)
…the 2nd annual refuge camping trip – glorious baptisms & crazy tube rides
…finishing marna’s basement for future single moms to find refuge
…including creative expressions of communion each week as part of our culture
…mastering the fine art of serving a special meal to the residents of joshua station without dessert.
we would love your memories, so help us out, what are some of your memories of 2007?

brian mclaren shares with the refuge!

the following was part of our november 2007 vertigo, the monthly refuge ezine (if you are interested in subscribing, click here). we have always known we wanted the refuge to be a missional community, deeply committed to global & local social justice. we want to stay connected to bigger conversations that are happening in the world because there are great thinkers out there stirring the pot & causing others to consider hard & challenging issues on how to live out the ways of Jesus in the midst of this broken & crazy world. one of those voices is brian mclaren. some of you have read his books, that include a new kind of christian, a generous orthodoxy, the secret message of Jesus. a former english teacher & pastor, he has been a key voice in challenging christians to consider how we can live the Kingdom of God now. he is booked solid for 2008 on a tour for his new book, everything must change (a worth read for sure!), but somehow in the midst of his crazy schedule he took time to answer the refuge’s request for an interview.

your books & teachings have been making a pretty big impact on the current christian culture. you are stirring the pot and causing people to really question what they believe about life as a christian. why do you think the message you are sharing has become so powerful?

At this point, I think my work has been more provocative than powerful. I hope it will be powerful in the sense of motivating more and more people first to see, then to care, then to act, and then to make a difference. Here’s what I mean: I was talking to Jim Wallis the other day, and we were talking about the change in the wind that we both feel - that more and more Christians are seeking an integral or holistic understanding of the faith, one that puts personal spirituality and social justice together. But then Jim added, “But 30,000 more people died yesterday from preventable diseases. Until that number goes down to 20,000, and 10,000 and 1,000, we aren’t really making the difference that’s needed.”

For that to happen - for us to move from thought to feeling to faith-in-action to Spirit-empowered-change - it takes groups like The Refuge working all this out on the ground in their neighborhoods, which is why I’m so thrilled to be talking with you.

I think that we all can feel a change is in the air. Something is trying to be born. Something is trying to take root. We feel the Holy Spirit groaning deep inside us, refusing to let us be complacent and satisfied. I hope my books are a little shred of those groanings, and that they’re resonating with the groanings other people feel.

what do you think isn’t working too well in the contemporary american church? what still amazes you about it?

I like the way you phrase that. I think a lot is going well, so uch really. But at the end of the day, I think Dallas Willard is right: we have a “great omission” in our “great commission” which means that we’re making Christians (or born-agains or charismatics or Baptists or Pentecostals or whatever) but not necessarily making disciples of Jesus the Liberating King. To put it more strongly, we’re better at making Christian consumers than we are at forming love-and-good-works-producers.

But a lot does still amaze me … a little Anglican church in Canada where people faithfully come to say and mean the Lord’s prayer and celebrate the eucharist and confess their sins and be sent out “to love and serve the Lord” - it’s a small miracle, really. A big megachurch in the US that’s mobilizing it’s people to address racism and poverty. A pentecostal super-megachurch in El Salvador that started a recycling center because they believe the Holy Spirit not only produces healings but also environmental responsibility. There are ten thousand beautiful stories like these.

Jesus had a lot to say about injustice, power, and the least of these. why do you think it’s been so easy for us to ignore injustices both locally and globally? what do you think we’re afraid of?

One of the big reasons is that we’ve been taught to read the Bible in special ways that blind us to a lot of its power. We’ve been taught to spiritualize and segment and hyper-analyzie and focus on trees and miss the forest. And I think you’re right when you imply that fear is a big part of it.

Partly, I think we’re afraid of change. But before we even get to that, I think we’re afraid of being criticized. A lot of our religious communities run on fear: ask the wrong question and you’re seen with suspicion. Don’t be satisfied with the standard answer and you’re out the door, with people talking about you behind your back. This atmosphere of fear accounts for a lot of our religious behavior, I think.

the title of this newest book is everything must change: Jesus, global crisis & a revolution of hope. why must everything change? what do you think is going to happen if we don’t change?

Jesus taught us to pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” So, wherever we see God’s will not being done … wherever God’s dreams for our earth aren’t coming true … that’s where change is needed. Of course, it doesn’t happen all at once: I’m not calling for violent revolution or careless insurgency. How the change happens is as important as that it happens: it happens quietly, but steadily, like yeast working in bread, like light penetrating darkness, like salt flavoring or preserving food, like fertilizer transforming soil so gardens can thrive.

In the book, I describe the peculiar and rather startling situation we’re now in: we’ve developed a large population, a huge rate ofglobal consumption and waste production, and a complex and somewhat fragile economic system supported by the most dangerous weapon systems in the history of history. This puts all of us at risk. I’d rather leave it up to readers’ imaginations to answer your question about what happens if we do nothing … because it’s not a pretty picture.

The good news is - and really, the book is about hope and good news -if we have faith as big as a sesame seed on a bagel, we can begin to turn things around. With God, nothing is impossible, and so mountains of injustice can be moved, and valleys of poverty can be filled in. I really believe that!

you travel a lot and see a depth & breadth of injustice in the world that many aren’t aware of. which injustices have gotten under your skin the most?

I suppose religious injustice comes to the surface first: religious people who use their holy texts - whether the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, or whatever - to legitimize the status quo or justify meanness. That makes me sick.

But beyond that, I’ve been thinking of economic injustice the most. I’ve been asking how can we turn capitalism around so that it becomes an engine not just of win-lose competition … us versus them, me versus you … but instead becomes a catalyst for collaboration, you and me together for the common good. I guess you’d call it capitalism with a conscience. I’m really inspired dreaming about an ethical buying movement, where we use the democracy of dollars to work for global social justice. Wouldn’t it be great to go into a store and find a code or rating on every product … so that we had the chance to choose products that were produced by means that are socially and environmentally sustainable? I really believe that’s something that we as people of faith could make happen, and it could make a real difference for billions of people.

we agree with you, that as Christians we have spent a lot of our time & energy in the wrong place–focusing on what we need to do to get to heaven, instead of thinking about how to live out the Kingdom here on earth. what are some ways you believe we can live the Kingdom now?

For Jesus, it starts with how we treat our neighbors. So you’re white and you’re getting on the bus or you’re walking into a party - where do you sit and who do you try to get to know? Another white person of your social class and race? Or do you specifically look for “the other” - the woman with a Muslim head scarf, or the kid with a bunch of tattoos, or the African American teenager standing in the corner? A smile on the sidewalk, an extra kind word in the check-out line … these small actions add up.

Of course, it’s an election year, and so we all need to take voting seriously. As I see it, as a follower of Jesus, I can’t simply vote my self-interest. I have to vote on behalf of the salmon and the warblers and the desert tortoises who don’t have anyone voting for them. I need to vote on behalf of the innocent kid in Iran who might be bombed pre-emptively if we elect a warrior president. I need to vote for the poor farmers in Sierra Leone - whose lives would be way better if we had a president dedicated to using American power as a good neighbor, not as an imperial power. That sort of thing comes to mind.

Ironically, for those of us who believe that heaven is a gift of grace, not something we have to work for or achieve … we of all people really don’t need to be preoccupied with that any more, so we should be of all people most free and ready to invest our lives for the least, the last, and the lost, as Jesus did.

In the book, I try to help people understand how to make a difference by looking at the world in terms of three interlocking systems - a prosperity system, a security system, and an equity system. I think that we can find ways to function in each of these systems according to kingdom-of-God values … and we can be agents of the kingdom in all our daily actions.

you are a spiritual activist, calling out some things that you believe are wrong with the system. how do you live out what God has layed on your heart even though the system doesn’t like it very much? does it make you angry, others’ responses to you, calling you a liberal heretic among other things? what do you do with your anger? how do you not get cynical? (we are taking notes)

If religion is the opiate of the masses, as Marx said, then cynicism is the opiate of intellectuals and the graveyard of activists who burn out. So you’re so wise to see the dangers of cynicism and bottled up anger - which turns to bitterness and ruins your ability to serve others in love. I don’t like being criticized, but I try to keep a few things in mind. First, as the singer Jackson Browne said, if you have a few real true friends, somehow all the other ones are easier to bear. So I cherish my friends as never before when I find a lot of people lining up as critics.

Second, I remember I’m a sinner, which normally isn’t very hard because I’m constantly proving the fact. The worst thing anyone has ever said about me isn’t as bad as what I know about myself, and nothing compared to what God knows about me. In this way, critics are what you could call “cruel friends” - they do you an immense service of helping keep you humble. Third, I try to remember that people who criticize me are just doing what they think is right. I’ve criticized a lot of people unfairly or in ignorance myself through the years, so how can I be angry at others for doing what I myself have done? Fourth, I remember Scriptures like Paul’s words in Colossians, where we’re called to forgive others as God has forgiven us in Christ, or I recall the Lord’s prayer, where Jesus teaches me to forgive as I would have God forgive me.

Fifth, I realize that I can learn a lot from criticism. Some is just mean, and you have to filter that out. But some criticism is constructive and a great learning opportunity. Sixth, I pray a lot. There’s a beautiful prayer someone gave me - it’s by a Serbian Orthodox bishop, and it’s called “prayer for enemies.” People can find it on my website …. brianmclaren.net. That prayer has helped me so much, I can hardly say. It begins, “Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.” Then it lists all the ways enemies and critics help us. “Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so do I, pursued by enemies, find safer shelter in the shadow of your wings” - it’s really beautiful and inspiring and challenging.

But I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t add that sometimes I just fail and the anger gets the best of me, and I start to get discouraged and overwhelmed. Often, at that point, God sends along some encouragement through a friend or a reader or someone I meet. So ultimately, I feel that I’m upheld by a power far greater than I can take any credit for.

there are all kinds of labels people have given to describe you–liberal, nonorthodox, neoevangelical. how would you like to be described?

Hmmm. I guess I’d like to be known as a fallible human being who is trying to learn to follow Jesus. As a human being, I have something in common with everyone in the world - Jewish, Muslim, atheist, Catholic, Protestant, whatever. And as someone trying to learn to follow Jesus, I am called to serve everyone and love them as my neighbor, which flows from loving the God who loves us all. But my guess is that this can’t be reduced to a functional label very well!

okay, last question, this is a practical one. the refuge is a rag-tag community of Christ-followers. we’re pretty messed up ourselves, without alot of resources, but we have huge hearts to impact the Kingdom. what are some things we could do as individuals to do to start a “revolution of hope” in a really practical way?

At the end of “Everything Must Change,” I really grapple with this question, and I decide not to come up with a list, but simply to focus on one thing: faith. I believe the most radical thing we can do is to disbelieve the many framing stories that are given to us, and believe the story given to us by Jesus.

If we have that shift in confidence, I think it will work out in a thousand really exciting ways. In fact, we’ll be developing a blog where people can share ideas about what they’re doing and how it’s going. And that will be a major function of the tour we’re doing early next year too - to help people dream together and share ideas.

Thankfully, there are so many great organizations that we can team up with. Amahoro-africa.org, floresta.org, sojo.net, emergentvillage.com, World Vision, the One Campaign and the MIcah Challenge are some of my favorites.

But let me just add one more practical idea. I think passionate people like you all could do something really interesting and enjoyable: throw parties for your neighbors. Just get people together. Have some games, help people get-acquainted, have some good food, wear name tags, share email addresses and phone numbers. Then the host could say something like this: “I’m really glad everyone came over, because I think we all feel that the world needs a lot of change, and I’m hoping we can try to be good neighbors for each other. In other words, we know the world needs a lot of change, and we can make a little start there by being the kind of neighborhood that would make the world a better place. That’s why we wanted to get everyone together, and if you have any ideas, I’m ready to help.” Then see if anyone has an idea. No prayers, no sermons, just an act of good will toward your neighbors. I think that if a bunch of us did this sort of thing, pretty soon people would be talking about God, because a good neighbor is a sign of the kingdom of God, at least I think that’s one thing Jesus was telling us.

brian mclaren is an author, speaker, pastor, and networker among innovative Christian leaders, thinkers, and activists. married to Grace, they have four young adult children. you can learn more about brian & organizations he is involved with at www.brianmclaren.net.

check out info for the everything must change 2008 tour here (tracy howe collaborated with brian on a CD that is companion to the book & is part of the tour. details here)

to order everything must change, click here

check out this brian mclaren YOUTUBE video for an overview of everything must change

the refuge goes off the map!


when we started the refuge last year we were a wreck. literally. a small group of us had left a megachurch wounded & disenfranchised but full of dreams of the way we longed to live out our faith. most days we woke up doubting ourselves, ready to quit even though we had just started. then, over a qdoba burrito & an hours worth of kathy’s tears, our friend tracy howe shared some of the fewest but most powerful words in the life of the refuge “you guys need to make some new friends…” she invited us to the off the map conference in seattle and assured us that she’d introduce us to a bunch of people who wouldn’t think we were crazy. we went. we were bold and introduced ourselves to as many of these new thinkers we could possibly meet. and we went home feeling a little more certain we were at least on the right path.

now, year 2 for off the map has marked just how far we’ve come. this year we brought 11 others with us to seattle (the conference was november 1-3rd). we actually knew people and we didn’t feel like middle schoolers at their first dance. people actually knew about the refuge and we don’t feel crazy anymore.

off the map is not the kind of conference where you get a spiritual high and then come home and don’t remember anything you learned. it’s hard to describe, but it is much more steady. solid. deep. it just sort of gets under your skin and makes you think. about God. about community. about living out the ways of Jesus in really practical ways. about the tension of our faith in these changing times. our team crashed on the floor of a wonderful church called vineyard community church in shoreline & spent a lot of time processing, laughing, eating & dreaming. we of course felt cool because our new friend jim henderson, the director of off the map, actually knows us and made us feel so loved (along with everyone else at the conference!). sage played his steel guitar in one of the main venues (we were so proud). kathy & karl got to share the refuge story at ken loyd’s “cheap church planting” workshop. there are so many highlights, but we thought those that went could share the takeaways so that those of you who wonder what’s going on in the big kingdom of God can get a taste, too. check out the many links, so many committed people living it out. enjoy & hope you’ll consider joining us next year!

amber lane: listening to some of the speakers, a passion surfaced in me that has long been dormant for social justice. especially within ‘religious’ institutions, and the question that I keep asking myself…how can I be part of something that upholds my values for social justice, and not part of something that opposes it either knowingly or unknowingly. i was reminded that this world is a hard one to live in if you’re not part of the majority, whether that be anglo-saxon, heterosexual, non-addicted, or thin. it is devastatingly difficult. given the difficulty we somehow make it through the day, maybe so we can continue to challenge the norms. whatever the reason, we are not alone and we can do this thing called life together.

christa romig-leavitt: “we will die with many, many, many unanswered questions. but we are paving pathways for our children in which they will live out christianity in beautiful and unimagined ways. in justice and love. In creativity.” … “we are dis-membered. what if we started re-membering.” the first quote is from a woman. the second from a man. i heard them both in Seattle. they make me think…let us all keep going. let us stay on this journey of question making to discover and re-member Jesus. let us do our best to stay dirty and resist the temptation to clean our hands. let us be okay with more questions than answers. let us keep loving.

john nunez: the thing that has stuck in my brain the most happened the first night. someone from up front spoke about a conversation they had with a woman while checking into their hotel. “if you were to come back to christianity/this whole church thing, what would you want/need?” she said acceptance. i thought how crazy it is that after 2000 yrs and a whole lot of talking, training, building, spending, discipling, memorizing, growing, claiming, praying about Jesus…the church/christians still suck at accepting. do we get forgiven and accepted mixed up? (check out what i mean http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance) and i thought….. when a christian does accept a ‘lost’ or even a ‘damaged’ person, what kind of pressure to change or “repent” comes with it? Jesus’ style of acceptance is probably so beautiful and elegant that when it’s really displayed in the world, it’s unrecognizable.

john parks: off the map was intriguing. it seems like we christians are beginning to experience the heart of God differently today. i started to step back and really look at my theology. faith is not so much about having all the right answers or having every base covered or even being able to defend my beliefs with the Bible. all that has a role but if I don’t love and accept people with actions just like Jesus did my testimony will always be a hollow reflection of God’s tremendous love for us. i was inspired to continue to lean into God’s love so that it can flow through me into His world and people everywhere.

jose escobar: loved the conference, but more so than anything, even though I got there late, i loved the time hanging out with everyone that went from the refuge. related to the conference, I liked the concepts and the diverse speakers, men, women, white, black, christian, and muslim, but it was also marked by a fairly non-diverse crowd. my favorite part of the conference though was the bridge service that we went to. i really loved the creativity, energy, and the music and songs (of which they wrote themselves). the service is really where i came out excited about we’re trying to do at the refuge. all in all, it was a cool weekend!

leslie kaczeus: sadell bradley of equipping ministries international read excerpts from the willie lynch letter and let’s make a slave in her workshop. i had never heard this and it sickened me, saddened me, and gave me a deeper understanding of the generations of brokenness and anger that our friends have lived through. she is an amazing woman. if you ever have a chance to hear her speak, don’t miss it! i also enjoyed the workshop on making friends with witches by phil wyman who is pastor at the gathering in salem, MA. he reinforced my thoughts about how normal people are that practice pagan religions and that we shouldn’t be afraid to build relationships with them. overall, it was just so incredibly inspiring to see so many people building bridges in ways and places that most of us couldn’t imagine would ever happen. thanks so much for inviting me along and making me feel so welcome!

karl wheeler: once again i experienced the confirming and marvelous joy of a bar set low. so low, that all who wish are able to march right over, head held high and dignified. after 30 years of conferences which should have all been subtitled “beat the sheep” or “wow, you are a sucky christian.” OTM is meaningful to me for its simple agenda of making friends, hearing from others, and setting the table of hospitality in all we do.

kathy escobar: one of the highlights for me was hanging out with our friends at the bridge worship service at on the house/church of the undignified in capital hill. agents of future rocks. loved chatting with jeff & jason from santa barbara’s uffizi mission project, deeply committed to their homeless friends & incarnational ministry with no programming. hearing rose swetman say “being missional is not having a cool service. who cares what band you have? i’m so tired of caring about what the meeting looks like. but what i care about is are you being the new humanity, and the presence of Christ in your neighborhood?” favorite quote: “people with power never think about it; people without power think about it all the time.” thomas friedman, quoted by brian mclaren who really is one of the most gentle but powerfully simple speakers i have ever heard.

mike herzog: i connected with brian mclaren and how the church is like music. the old way is like classical with exact notes lead by a conductor (a lead pastor). the new way is like jazz different people playing different notes in the context of a chart (shared leadership). both are playing the right music, just differently. and we could not have our jazz without their classical music. another thing about classisal vs jazz–there are no women, or native americans or africian americans etc. that wrote wrote classical, but many of the marginalized play jazz. my best take away was to practice what church is really about, being in real relationship with people.

sage harmos: i had the priviledge of playing music for OTM this year. my playing partner, jeff greer, is a young and intensely talented musician. he also is bald, has an orange goatee a half a foot long, and wears a kilt. my highlight was when a couple wearing western clothing (and the fellow had an american flag on his hat) thanked me and said how moving the music was for them. they come from a pentecostal evangelical church, and love to hear the steel guitar (usually country) in worship music. it had the spirit which they love in worship. they were so happy that we weren’t throwing the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to renewing our way of living out our faith. no one was “too cool” or “uncool” in our time together as conferencegoers. all were truly welcome.

we’ll end with this…from nate blegger’s blog, a conversation between he and ken loyd, the pastor of home, a new plant from the bridge committed to the homeless in portland. nate says, “i usually end up expressing to folks that the thing that gets me most is the “slowness.” “slowness! that’s the point!!” ken said. “you will be an instant success in maybe four or five years… you have to do things that are completely un-extraordinary. don’t do anything special or spectacular. this is how you will be legendary.” he went on to say that so many churches out there are trying to do extraordinary things. it is getting tiring for people. we just have to be normal and engage people where they are at with the absolutely normal things of life.”

other conference bloggers that linked to the refuge:
john smulo
(hey, check out john’s cool post from earlier this year “be like jesus” so good)
erin at decompressing faith

what would jesus do with the church?


this blog is part of a synchroblog (people blogging about the same topic at the same time). we heard about it from erin at decompressing faith. here are the details. check out the links below for others writing today & see what they have to say about the same topic. we chose to participate because this is a subject near and dear to our heart.. now we will be honest, we can be people who rant and rave about all the things that are wrong with the church. you all know we are good at that! but the truth is that ranting and raving doesn’t change anything. action does. we couple the refuge’s belief statement with brennan manning’s challenging words, “if you want to know what a person really believes, you need to watch what they do.” when it comes to matters of “church”, actions do speak louder than words. we believe it’s that simple. we believe right now, more than ever, the world is watching. wondering. what kind of people are Christians? how are they best expressing the life of Christ corporately?

what would Jesus do with the church? maybe he has given us a glimpse of what he thought the foundational values would be in his most famous sermon. just think how different “church” would be if we took these words seriously corporately not just individually. here’s our little interpretation of the beatitudes in matthew 5:3-10 for churches.

blessed are those who realize their need for God…
“need me the most.”

we think Jesus hopes that we’d be communities who actually recognized our spiritual poverty & need for him. we have observed in church a reliance not on God but on high-tech power points, slick programs, video clips, fog machines, lights, amazing singers, inspiring sermons, and starbucks coffee. we believe Jesus would unplug church and get back to what is really important—raw interactions with people, stories, questions, tangible life on life that required absolutely nothing more than people & hearts.

blessed are those who mourn…
“let people feel”

what if churches became places people could really feel, mourn, grieve, so that they could be comforted? many think that the church is the last place they can struggle because they’ve encountered people who have questioned their faith, given them trite answers, expected them to get over their pain quickly. the result is always shame and the one place we should be able to be free from shame becomes the greatest source of it. we believe Jesus wants the church to become communities that embrace pain. that allow for grief. that are safe for people to shake their fist at God (we think he can take it) but are surrounded by other people who keep comforting, offering hope, not giving up. this means we have to be willing to let go of our “fix-it” mentality, stay in for the long haul and understand real change takes time and might look different than we think.

blessed are the humble…
“put others first.”

Jesus said that those who are humble will inherit the earth, yet the “church” has tended to have an overconfidence, certainty, exclusivity that reeks of pride & arrogance. we believe Jesus is asking the church to consider some really hard things in this category: apologize for the wrongs we have committed, ways we have offended, hurt & beat up people who read the same verses & feel differently about them. bend our knee publicly. admit our mistakes. open our doors to the outcasts or better yet close our doors and use our money to “go out” instead of expecting everyone to “come in”. if we have a building, let other people use it a lot instead of keeping it locked up 6 days a week (yes, that means people from other denominations, beliefs & ideas). give up meeting for bible study and start actually living out the bible with someone in need that requires us to give up our time, money, pride.

blessed are those who hunger & thirst for justice…
“advocate for all of humanity”

the church has a bad reputation in the media for focusing on two issues—abortion & homosexuality. while this isn’t the place to get into that conversation, we must not ignore that every 16 seconds someone dies of starvation. little boys & girls are being sold into slavery right now. as you’re reading this, families are being drug from their homes and slaughtered. closer to home, that woman you just said hi to in the parking lot is getting beat up by her boyfriend, your co-worker can’t buy groceries for her babies because her power bill is so high. the hispanic or african american or middle eastern guy you know overhears the jokes that everyone at work is always telling. Jesus told us to hunger and thirst for justice & righteousness. maybe it is time to be suspicious of power that masquerades as morality. we have to expand our world, find out what’s happening in other places and make people aware of it so they can make their own decisions on how to respond. help people walk a mile in another man’s shoes. show single parents, the addicted & mentally ill, the outcasts that we give a rip about them. give as much money, airtime and encouragement as we can to local & global organizations that are dedicated to changing life tangibly & practically for those in need.

blessed are the merciful…
“be kind. it’s that simple.”

the church can be mean. ask a woman who’s had an abortion. someone who struggles with homosexuality. the single mom who asked for help with her rent. the person who believes in something different than Jesus and just wanted to have a conversation. the christian who starts to doubt. we believe Jesus is calling the church to be places of mercy. compassion. understanding. that we need to listen better. quit talking so much. hold the space. wow people with our ability to stay in & be present instead of ditch, dismiss, and move on to the next thing. build a reputation for kindness in small wonderful ways that starts to spread.

blessed are the pure in heart…
“freedom is better than slavery to approval & power.

we believe that many churches are filled with leaders with great hearts who are sincerely trying to do what they think is best. we like to consider ourselves in this category! but we wonder if Jesus is challenging us all to notice how much of what we do is motivated by fear? how much approval are we trying to get? are we measuring success by stories of love and hope and transformation or by attendance, budgets, and adherence to the latest leadership book we just read? we think Jesus wants our hearts to be more pure, to be motivated by the right things, not our preservation or reputations. maybe he would challenge us to give away more than we think we can. to do anything we can to diffuse power. share leadership. ask ourselves hard questions about why we think we have to do certain things. don’t cater to the big givers, the power people, the ones we think are going to give extra bang for our buck. love people freely and help fan their gifts into flame instead of using them to get what we need.

blessed are the peacemakers…
“build bridges not walls.”

let’s face it, the church has a reputation for building walls against “the world”, those who don’t believe the same things we do. to be peacemakers we need to build bridges in our community, make friends with people & churches & organizations that are trying to advocate for the poor, the oppressed, the victimized even if we see God, the world differently. network with other faith communities instead of competing against them. teach and model peace, forgiveness, loving our enemies in tangible ways.

blessed are those who are persecuted…
“get ready for it to get harder.”

really living out the gospel means it is going to hurt. paychecks will be cut, women & those without a voice will get more air time. people will leave, demand that we “give them what they are used to getting.” leadership gurus will tell us we are stupid, that we’re not doing things we must do to build a successful church. hardliners will think we are not focusing enough on making sure everyone knows the truth. we might get in trouble with our denomination, our old friends in ministry, oh all kinds of people who won’t like us changing.

+ + +

here’s our bottom line. we don’t really want to do this either. we know this is the hard road and we are human beings guided by a sense of “let’s find the path of least resistence as quickly as we can.” but that was what Jesus was railing against. he told us from the beginning—this is going to be hard, harder than you ever imagined. but if we take his words seriously, then it’s time for the church to quit following the ways of the world—power, success, exclusivity, structures that have to be sustained, techniques-that-win-and-move-us-up-a-notch and start working on downward mobility—diffused, flexible, diverse, power-less, poured out, present, humble. we do not presume to hit this right. we are wrestling with all the same things other churches are wrestling with. but we guess what we’re saying is “Jesus, we’re listening and we’ll try to give it a shot.”

check out what these others have to say about what they think Jesus would do with the church:

erin word
glenn hager
gary means
alan knox
nate peres
sally coleman
barb
rick stillwell
jeff greathouse
dan
jonathan brink
barbara legere
jason ellis
rainier

dreams


we have a dream…
it’s not a small one.
it’s not a huge one (we’re not planning to lead any marches anytime soon)
we think it’s a simple one.

and despite our cynicism about ‘church’ (yes, we know it seeps through!) we are idealists. we wouldn’t be doing this if we had given up.

we are still “foolish” enough to think some of our dreams are possible. we think when Jesus said “your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” he meant that the Kingdom was possible now.

here are a few of our dreams…

we have a dream that we’d be people who took Jesus word’s seriously. this means we don’t get to just talk about it, we actually have to be forgiving, loving, sacrificing, humble. we need to be people willing to give away our stuff, care for the widows and orphans, die to ourself, hug lepers, lay down power, and make peace with our enemies.

we have a dream that all people would be valued. when we look at each other we don’t let color, socioeconomics, gender, theologies, shapes or sizes or social abilities get in the way of seeing the image of God and respecting each other’s worth, value & contribution to this world.

we have a dream that no single parent would feel like they were parenting alone. they’d have other people willing to fill in the gaps, pick up the slack, offer help, prayer, and love so it’s not so damn hard.

we have a dream that no one would feel crippled by their weaknesses. the damage from the past & present would not paralyze us from living out who God made us to be, instead, we’d use our story to help another person.

we have a dream that we’d know our neighbors. actually know them, and notice if they’re hungry or sad or lonely and do something about it if we can.

we have a dream that every child had grownups other than their parents who believed in them. we’d see all that was possible, and cheer them on in really tangible ways.

we have a dream that people of Jesus would be known for the acts of Jesus. when people hear the word “Christian” they did not cringe and immediately think “judgemental”. instead, they’d have warm feelings that were associated with the truth of Christ’s love & kindness because they experienced it from one of us at some point and couldn’t escape its power.

we have a dream that we’d be advocates. we will stand with the marginalized, oppressed, poor & unlovely, that we’d risk our pride. position, and power so that someone with none could get a little.

we have a dream that walls between churches & the community would crumble. walls that have been built because of fear and past ugly experiences would dissolve. that we’d learn to share resources, support each other & let care for human beings supersede our politics & theologies.

we have a dream that every person would feel known, loved & cared for by another human being. that we’d do our little part to help banish loneliness.

we have a dream that we’d be a community of dreamers. what are some of yours?