a few days ago i got sucker punched for having ovaries, if you can believe that. i was in atlanta at the big christian retailers conference to launch a book that I co-authored that is just being released. it is a women’s bible study/journaling tool in a magazine format and it’s pretty cool. check it out here. (this isn’t the actual cover but an older version that ended up going out earlier). anyway, some of it’s me, some of it’s not me, but the essence–a tool for women that addresses our real story, what’s really going on in our relationship with God & others instead of pat, surface answers—is, in my humble opinion, a desperately needed voice in the Christian market that is saturated with simplistic, bumper sticker answers to some complex and painful issues. (plus, it’s kind of fun to have someone want you to write something for them and actually pay you for it!)
during the whole gaggle of getting it ready for promotion in december, it turns out the publisher couldn’t print that i was a pastor in the material because some of the salesmen said they wouldn’t be able to sell it to the by-far-the-biggest christian account (with southern baptist roots) with a woman pastor author. I am not kidding. if I had any other title in the whole wide world it wouldn’t matter. it’s just because I am called pastor, that is the word they can’t tolerate if there’s not a y chromosome with it. I fought the battle with the publisher (new hope, they are great by the way, but really underestimated how crazy the system really is on this one) and ended up losing. they decided to not mention I was a pastor in the bio. there was nothing for me to do about it, really, i used my voice, advocated for what i could, and had to just let it go or pull out of the project, and I had invested countless hours writing the tool part and it just felt too bad to walk away. i understand they had profits to consider and wanted the book to have the best possible shot and without that biggest book order, it was going to be tough.
so, here we are 7 months later, I have mustered up getting excited about it despite how weird it has felt (it’s like telling a teacher, we can’t call you a teacher because it might offend somebody). they paid for me to fly to atlanta, stay in a great hotel, and all of my expenses to launch it. i have been on my best behavior, trying to make the most of being at a conference filled with the marketing of Jesus. it’s been a little hard on my soul but I was so happy being quiet in my hotel room reading eat, pray, love by elizabeth gilbert and catching up on my zzz’s, that I didn’t even mind.
well, i found out toward the end of the conference, that the retailer—lifeway christian stores—still refused to carry it. even though it isn’t printed in the book, they now know I am “one of those women pastors” and it is against their doctrinal beliefs. what is so gross to me is that automatically because I have the title pastor, have something to say to our little faith community, I am theologically anti-biblical and immediately disqualified. it’s ugly. disgusting. makes me want to throw up. but after the initial shock and trauma (1 hour before our book signing where I needed to be extra perky and happy. I saved my tears for later) I just felt relieved. all of my ranting and raving about inequality, injustice, ugly evangelicalism is not unfounded. I am not crazy, I am not making this up. it is alive and well in the year 2007 whether anyone wants to believe it or not.
so what can I do? what can you do? well, I hate to pick on you, boys, but it starts with you. women can stand on the tables and shout out “don’t you see?” but really we need men to understand how engrained this injustice is and intentionally make sure they are not subtly buying into the system. I am grateful for the refuge because karl, mike, john, kevin, paul—as members of the leadership team–have openly embraced that we are equal. girls’ anatomy doesn’t preclude me or any of the other women on the team or in our community from anything. they see the value of diversity, where young and old, women and men, married and single, divorced and widowed, all have something to say. I never, ever feel discriminated against at the refuge. every man who is part of our little crazy community, whether they realize it or not, is changing the tide of an unjust system just by their presence. (thank you guys, I love and respect you all so much….). you can also go to a lifeway store near you (they’re mainly in the south but are a few in colorado & california) and ask for refresh, ask why don’t they carry it and ask them to order a copy for you. new hope would love for them to see a blip get on their radar.
but bottom line is this hub-ub has been a catalyst for me to stay on this journey, to do what I can to just keep being, well….me. i readily admit, some days i just want to give up, throw in the towel, and say okay, jackasses, you win. i’m out. you can have your church and eat it, too. but i am too much of a fighter and it is so not Jesus’ heart that half of all people, that those with a passion for his message, the Kingdom, for the poor & oppressed wouldn’t be able to have a voice or role as a pastor or shepherd or leader because they happened to have a different chromosome combination.
like racism, the only way to change things is to not stand for it anymore. I believe as Christ-followers, we must visibly show the world that sexim, racism, classism, and exclusion is not the Way of Jesus. God, help us be an instrument of change, hope & healing in this really messed up, sexist, racist, egocentric, classist world (and sadly, church)
July 17th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
kath, there is no doubt that you are fighting an uphill battle. the good old boy system is alive and well. have never been sure why God allows it to flourish, but, also, never could quite understand why the the church, (the southern baptist convention actually came about because of their pro slavery position) can use the bible to keep people beaten down, either. looks like the southern baptists are wrong, yet again, when it comes to the woman pastor issue. just keep fighting the battle and know we are behind you. i would love to have the addresses of those bookstores, in the denver area, because i’m feeling the need to order some books. maybe we could change your title to “bishop” or maybe “prophet”. hahah. then maybe you could meet their stupid criteria. you go get em PASTOR ESCOBAR!!
mike
ps have to confess that i used to be one of those jackasses, but i saw the light. there is hope that God can change these people one heart at a time. do not give up my friend.
July 18th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Dear Kathy,
As the Pope, that great egalitarian leader says, in Latin of course, “Nill illigitimi carborundum.”
(don’t let the bastards get you down).
July 21st, 2007 at 7:00 am
Phyl. I like what you said. There is always a temptation to give in because the battle is so hard. Kathy, keep up the good fight. You are breaking ground for young girls, like your own daughter, so they will have an easier time when they grow up, if they chose to be pastors. God couldn’t have picked a better person for this fight. Thank you for all you do for so many.
July 22nd, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Is there scripture that says women should not be in a pastoral positon?
As true followers of Jesus, being able to find ALL answers in the Bible, let’s journey there to solve the issue.
Then, we rest assured that our intentions are right along with the Spirit, rather than develping our own opinions or feelings to make a case.
July 24th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
The people with the “no women pastors” seem to be the same ones that totally ignore the “husband of one wife” issue and allow divorced (and re-married) men to be elders. It seems it is forgivable to get a divorce (which I totally agree is true–God forgives all sin, don’t get me wrong here), but the unforgivable sin is to be a woman in the American evangelical church today. I’m bad at remembering authors, but Mike (I think) gave me a book with a different perspective. Maybe God doesn’t want women to be pastors because we are more prone to be hurt by criticism and pastors get a lot of relational s*&$ thrown at them. In other words, God is protecting women by not wanting them to be in the position of pastor (not punishing us) because we are more relational and those relational wounds hurt more????? So, maybe if the men in the “church” were protecting and pastoring the women, we wouldn’t want or need women pastors. Just a thought–I LOVE having Kathy as my pastor and don’t want any changes there!
H*&&, I was told I was not even good enough to be a pastor’s wife! Are there any qualifications for pastor’s wife in the Bible? Besides, I know there is a verse about “submitting to each other as brothers and sisters in the Lord”. Try that on the next “non-Refuge” pastor you come across and ask if he would like to submit to you. Might be an interesting survey.
Off subject–the Refuge is making a name for itself in the Denver area. I met someone from the south end of town whose friend wants to come and visit. Pretty cool!
Janelle
July 24th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Although there is scripture that says woman should not be in head-of-church positions, I believe it is important to point out that there is also scripture that says slaves should obey their masters, adulterers should be put to death, women should not cut their hair or wear jewelry, etc. The list goes on and on. While reading these scriptures, it is absolutely necessary to consider the context, culture, time period, and general lesson which was intended by the writer at the time it was written. Too many have been oppressed in the name of God by the church when one or all of the above points were not considered. This oppression continues today by a large percentage within the church body. Oppression is wrong…..period. Who are
any of us to say that God would never call any woman ever to be a pastor!?! God is so much bigger than the box we, as the church, have put Him in.Yes, let us prayerfully seek all of our answers with an open heart and look to the holy scriptures for those answers. Let us follow Jesus’ example of belief in equality and freeing the oppressed through His actions. If we
truly seek God’s truth in such matters with an open heart, He will reveal His truth to us.
On a personal note, I’d like to thank you, Kathy, for not giving up and continuing to fight this good fight. I’m with you on this. Growing up in a southern baptist church has given me a strong faith in God, as well as a
strong sense that some things must change within the church. Thank you, Kathy, for answering God’s call to become the incredible pastor that you are. Thank you for ministering to me and my children in a very tangible and
Christ-like way. Thank you for paving the hard road for the rest of us.
HANG IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sherri